Dear Danny. I am a council tenant and whilst on the toilet the other day this creature came up through the bowl and bit me on the backside. What can you do about it?
Well Bruce, relax its just a deadly poisonous funnel web spider from Down Under - probably hitched a lift with me last time I returned to the Old Country. Just ask Council Pest Control Services to deal with it: they'll send Maureen O'Mara round with a can of spray in a few months time!!! Just joking our Council services are top notch...really. Putting another shrimp on the barbie for you.
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